$1800 a month?

I really feel like we need a What I Learned this Week theme song. Jo-Lynne, you might want to work on that...

And, yep, you read that title right. That's more than my mortgage! And it's all for fertility drugs. I posted once that my coverage for fertility meds was up. I reached the $5000 lifetime cap. Then I called the company and was told this was not the case, that I had just reached the limit for ordering through outside pharmacies and needed to use their specified supplier. Then I called again today to order meds to have on hand for next month and the copay for 10 vials of Bravelle (FSH) was $600! They are telling me that I really HAVE reached my limit. And lately it's taken about 30 0f those things each month. That's $1800 a month. BEFORE the other meds, though to be fair the estrogen and progesterone don't cost much. I could probably pay for those completely out of pocket without flinching. But still? Are they serious? Supposedly I have a $15,000 lifetime limit for medical coverage for fertility. Well, I haven't even spent 1/3 of that. That's the cheap part - who woulda thunk?

So, at this point, I'm thinking it's time to take a break (provided things didn't work out this month). Then when we are ready for IVF, we'll do that. I just haven't gotten to that point yet, but I've being feeling lately that it's time to let God be God and that that means that it's time to "give up".



Okay, enough with the moping, I also learned how to work Twitter this week.



And if that's not enough, read my previous post on competitive cow milking.

Did she curse me?

Okay, so it's time for Life is Funny with Wendy. So, if you read Wendy's blog, you'll be familiar with her story of carrying crumbs around in her bra. If not, go and read her post here. So, I think she might have cursed me. I grabbed a root beer while hanging out at Grandma's the other day. After I finished, I took the tab off the top. Grandma saves them for some strange reason. Supposedly they go to help people who need dialysis or some such thing. We all think it might be a sham, but we help out anyway, since it makes her feel good. So, anyway, the stubborn little bugger wouldn't come off. I yanked hard on it, and it went flying in the air and ended up going straight down my shirt. Wendy, it's ALL YOUR FAULT! And even if it's not, I'm blaming you!!!



And if that's not funny enough for you, check out my post about milking cows. Life is Funny.

Have you ever milked a cow?

Now, even if your answer to this question is, "yes" (which would put you in the minority of people in this country, and of people that I know for that matter), you've probably never experience milking like this. I totally forgot to take pictures (sorry, Ezra!), but it was hysterical. We went to the Weiser rodeo today. Part of the reason is that Jerrod's friend Ezra was competing. Well, his uncle and cousin were too, but we really wanted to see the part that Ezra was in. Competitive milking. Yes, you read that right. But these are not your average cows. These are wild cows. With horns. And, yes, these people must be crazy, but that's a topic for a different post. Anyway, one guy rides in on a horse and (hopefully) ropes the cow (around the horns or neck, for you city folk). Two other guys run in and try to wrestle the thing and milk it. Now this isn't a competition about how MUCH milk you can get. They just get a little in a bottle to show that they can do it. But it IS a timed competition. And this is at the end of the day, so most of the cowboys are either exhausted or drunk or both. Half the time, the guy roping loses hold of the rope. (They usually only rope calves, so this is a much larger thing and harder to hold onto.) So, the 2 guys on the ground are running around trying to catch the rope and sometimes diving headfirst for it. The guy on the horse, if he's lucky, can catch up and grab the rope. Then if the cow cooperates, all is well. If not, the guy on the horse has to jump off and help. Or they have to get the cow to stand back up, 'cause if it isn't standing while it's being milked, they're disqualified. And, only the really brave grab the cow by the horns and just go for it. (Remember I said these guys were crazy!) So, Alison said she never knew such a thing existed when I posted it on Twitter. And quite frankly, neither did I. Til tonight. Now my mind has been opened and my horizons are broader. Fun, huh?

Fave Friday

Okay, so it's Fave Friday time over at 3 Boys and a Dog. How in the world is it Friday already??? Here is my favs list this week:

1. My dogs. They are the cutest, sweetest puppies ever. And I just love it when their tails start wagging like crazy just because I wake up in the morning or come home from work.
2. Having a clean house. Speaking of which, I should really get off the computer and get my butt in gear. It's kinda nasty in here!
3. Online shopping. Why is it so fun to look at clothes and other products online? I could while away the day just browsing...
4. Blogging. I am addicted. Seriously.
5. Sleeping. 'nough said.

Eggs, check. Sperm, check.

Eggs, check. Uterine lining, check. Ovulation, check. Sperm, check. Waiting to see, check...

So, after massive doses of FSH, I finally produced more than one egg this month. As a matter of fact, I had 2 that were ready (at least 18mm) and one that was close (14mm). I went in for an ultrasound yesterday and found this out. They decided I was ready to go, preferably before that other egg got ready. For some reason, they don't want me to have triplets - go figure! Anyway, my uterine lining has been greater than 8mm for some time. I took a shot yesterday morning to make me ovulate. My ovulation predictor kit was indeed positive this morning. I double-checked to make myself feel better. It apparently takes a ridiculous dose of the FSH to make me produce more than one egg, so I didn't know if the other drug was working or not. In fact, it takes so much of the FSH, that I have been cranky, cranky. Poor Jerrod! When I first started treatment, everyone asked if I was emotional. Of course I said, "No, I'm fine!" Well, the nurse at the doctor's office joked around that we must have finally reached a therapeutic dose, because I've been nuts lately - and totally forgetful. Okay, so I got off track, but this morning we went in for insemination. Everything is in place, and I'm feeling hopeful this month for the first time in awhile. Please keep us in your prayers.

Deadly Toes

So, it's time for What I Learned this Week, the part of the week where Jo-Lynne comes out and tells us what she's learned. (For those of you who got the Veggie Tales reference here, bravo!) So, this week I learned the nylons are VERY expensive. When did that happen? They've tripled in price overnight. Granted I haven't worn them in a long time. I had a job for 2 years where we had to wear skirts and nylons EVERY DAY. Yes, I know. I think this can be considered torture and would hold up in a court of law. But needless to say, I didn't wear nylons after that. Well, working in a hospital I am required to wear them if I wear a skirt. So I never wear skirts. Ever. But I like skirts. And it's starting to finally warm up and feel like summer this week. So, I tried some on. The pair I owned got a whole in the right foot where my big toenail was hitting it. I went to buy a new pair yesterday, so I could try again. Holy cow! The first pair I picked up was $8.50! For something that I despise anyway! The cheaper pair was $6. Of course I went with those. And don't you know that when I got home from work today and went to take them off, there's a whole in the exact same place. See, even my toes know that nylons suck!

Life is Funny

Okay, so I haven't participated in Life is Funny in awhile. I know, I know. I'm a total slacker. Of course then I post 3 times in one day. Go figure. So, my humor comes in the form of a question (or 3) this week. Is it totally wrong that the way I am lying in bed right now makes me look like I have a pregnant belly when I'm not really pregnant but I want to be pregnant but I don't want to look like I'm pregnant when I'm not actually pregnant, because I don't want people to get the wrong idea? (Whew! I just had to get that off my chest!) Does that mean I need to go on a diet before I have additional baby fat weight to lose? Can I blame this extra weight on the fertility drugs when I'm pretty sure that cookies are to blame? Mmmmm....cookies.....

Spring Reading Thing 2009 Wrap-Up

Okay, it's time for the Spring Reading Thing 2009 Wrap-Up. I must say that I've decided I really stink at FINISHING a book! I'm great at starting books, but finishing is another story all together. I had 7 books picked out to read. I really didn't think that would be so hard. I read 3 of them. To be fair, I started 3 of them but still haven't finished. And the 7th book was for book club, but I ended up being out of town for that one, so I didn't read it. Oh well! It was a valiant effort!

I Have Eggs!

Okay, so I've been on massive doses of hormones this month. This has NOT been fun - just ask my loving, patient husband! :) They started me out on 1 amp per day of Bravelle (follicle stimulating hormone) to help me ovulate. When I didn't get pregnant on that, they upped it to 2 amps per day to try and help me produce 2 eggs. Well, I still only made 1 egg the last time. This time, still 1 egg, so they upped it to 3 amps per day. Still one egg, and it wasn't close to ready. So, they kept me on 3 amps per day. Well, at my ultrasound today, I had 1 egg on the right ovary and 2 on the left ovary that range from 14 mm to 18 mm, meaning that they all might get large enough to be viable. They had me take 1 more amp of the medication today and then I go back for another ultrasound on Wednesday. If everything looks ready then, they will trigger me to ovulate and we will do insemination Friday.

I'm very excited about the possibility of increasing my chances by producing more eggs this month. I've been very discouraged this cycle and not sure that we should continue. Everyone please say a prayer that this works! Oh, and thanks for all the loving support and sweet comments on my last post about all the fertility issues. I appreciate it more than you'll know.

Just One More...

Kira wanted the world to see that she could really do "good" hairstyles. She said if she had known it was going to end up on my blog, she would have done something different. So, here is her second attempt.

Hairstyles continuted...

Okay, so 5-year-old Kiana wanted to get in on the deal...

My New Hairstyle

So, after karate tonight, I brought my friend Kelly's kids home with me while Kelly finished teaching class. After a little snack, I got a new hairstyle compliments of 6-year-old Kira.

Isn't it lovely? And here is the beautiful hairstylist herself...

Broken Baby-Maker

So, the good news is that I found out I just need to order my fertility meds through a different company now, since I've met the cap for ordering them from outside agencies. The bad news is that this company takes forever to get meds to you, so I'm going to have to be ordering things BEFORE I know I need them. And if I've met $5000 in meds, and am getting to that in doctor's visits, am I now only $5000 away from meeting the lifetime cap of $15,000 for fertility treament coverage? Or are meds not included?

I guess the other thing is that I've been thinking long and hard about this the last few days. Do I really want to go through this again and again? I know, I know. It's only 3 more months after this until we try IVF. But that's $11,000 (and insurance doesn't cover it a bit). I'd rather spend the money on adoption and be guaranteed a child.

I really want to know what it's like to be pregnant. I want to feel all the morning sickness and aches and pains (I'm crazy, I know) and feel a baby move inside me. I want to give birth and breastfeed and all that other good stuff. I'm having trouble giving up on that dream. But I'm totally okay with adopting. And I've really been feeling like I need to let God be God lately. I know that doesn't mean that I shouldn't use all the options available to me (i.e. - fertility treatments). I know that God uses doctors to accomplish things. I'm just having trouble with the mental aspects of giving up control of this, you know? And I'm just exhausted - mentally, more than anything. Is it time to just call it quits?

What I Learned This Week

So, it's time again for Jo-Lynne to ask what we learned this week. Here's the rundown (in no particular order):

1. I always need a vacation from my vacation.
2. I'm glad I have a day off to unpack, do laundry, and run errands after getting home from my trip.
3. I need to go back and visit my family again soon, 'cause I spent too much time seeing friends this trip (plus, my mom misses me).
4. My body doesn't like to ovulate. After 5 million amps of Bravelle, I'm still only producing one egg.
5. I've about reached my limit for insurance coverage for infertility.
6. 20 amps of Bravelle costs $1000!!! Yes, you read that right. That means that if I'm not pregnant this month, I'm gonna have to start shelling out the big bucks.
7. I need to call my insurance company and verify my coverage.
8. At church on Sunday, the preacher talked about letting God be God instead of just asking him for what we want. I realized I'm not very good at that. I want what I want when I want it! Of course, I want it in His timing and in the way He has planned for me, but I forget that part.

Busy, Busy

Okay, so I just realized I haven't posted in forever. I got busy this summer. We were at the cabin last weekend, and I never got caught up on reading the blogs when I got home. So, I never got around to posting anything. And now I'm in California visiting my family... And my schedule is PACKED while I'm here. Never a dull moment. But for all of my bloggy friends, I just wanted to assure you that I'm still alive and kicking. I'm just a lazy blogger these day. I promise I'll post more when I get home from my vacation. But at this rate, I may need a vacation from my vacation! :)

Tagged

So, Kirsten tagged me on this meme she did, so here it is:

8 Things I Am Looking Forward To:

1. Having kids sometime in the future.


2. Going to the cabin for the weekend.


3. Going to visit my family and friends In Califfornia next weekend.


4. My friend Heather's wedding that I'm going to next weekend as well.


5. Going to Seattle this summer.


6. Getting tomatoes out of our garden.


7. Losing 5 pounds.


8. Watching So You Think You Can Dance tonight.

8 Things I Did Yesterday:

1. Drove.


2. Worked (at my real job).


3. Fed the dogs.


4. Played on the internet.


5. Watched a really stupid movie.


6. Ate.


7. Slept.


8. Talked on the phone.

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:

1. Magically clean my house in 10 minutes.


2. Get a tan.


3. Listen to discussions about financial topics without drifting off into la-la land.


4. Speak Spanish.


5. Hire a maid/cook/gardener.


6. Save the environment.


7. Magically zap stupid people and make them smart (or disappear).


8. Have kids.

8 Shows I Watch:

1. American Idol


2. So You Think You Can Dance


3. What Not to Wear


4. Fringe


5. The Office


6. My Name is Earl


7. Law and Order: SVU


8. CSI: Miami

8 People Tagged:

1. Alison


2. Wendy


3. Jessica


4. Whitney


5. Daphne
6. Um, I think that might have to do it. If anyone else wants to do it, feel free! :)

Much Funnier in Writing

Okay, so I was wondering this evening why it is that I seem so much funnier on my blog (or on Facebook, etc.) than I do in person. Face to face, I get nervous and shy (yes, Mom and Dad it's TRUE unless I actually know you!). I am self-conscious and don't want to say the wrong thing. But I can come up with some pretty hysterical (albeit, mostly sarcastic) stuff when I'm posting. Why is that? Am I really just not funny at all on my blog? Is it all in my imagination? Or do the gremlins take over my body when I'm away from my computer? That's it! Gremlins... These must be the same gremlins that sneak into my closet and shrink my clothes when I'm not looking and steal one sock at a time. Shhhh.... they're following me.... :)

Weigh in Wednesday

Okay, it's time to weigh in for the week (and the beginning of our new challenge at the Sisterhood). I am 135.8 pounds - down almost a half pound from the last time I stepped on the scale, so not bad. I'm aiming for 130 by the end of this challenge (125 would be better, but I'm trying to be realistic!). We are working in teams this time, and I am pround to be part of Team Maroon. Go team!

What I Learned/Life Is Funny

Okay, so this post is doing double duty for Life is Funny and What I Learned this Week. This week, I learned that I need sunscreen - lots and lots of it. For those of you that don't know me personally, I am a very special shade of white, which I like to refer to as alabaster. I was definitely the whitest person n I saw this weekend, including my freckled husband.

We were out on our friend's boat Sunday.ALL.AFTERNOON. Now I am burned to a crisp! My SIL kept pouring suncreen on my back and shoulders (she was a little worried about me), but I forgot to reapply on my legs and chest. Ask me why??? Because I forget that I am white! So, yes, this white girl is now a pretty shade of crimson. Ooops!

The only comforting thing is that my back and shoulders are in good shape - and I have a massage scheduled today. I'm going to enjoy every minute of it. Ahhhh!

True Confessions - Monday (a day late)

1. I gave up on the last challenge at the Sisterhood
2. We now how teams to keep us motivated for the upcoming challenge.
3. I like junk food.
4. I REALLY like junk food!
5. I hate to exercise.
6. I don't drink enough water...
7. because I don't like water. It doesn't taste very good.
8. I know all the nutrition info, but I just can't seem to get motivated.